Posts Tagged ‘change’

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Movin’ Out

July 27, 2011

Ah but working too hard can give you
A heart attack, ack, ack, ack, ack, ack
You ought-a know by now
Who needs a house out in Hackensack?
Is that all you get for your money?

And it seems such a waste of time
If that’s what it’s all about
Mama if that’s movin up then I’m movin out

Readers, you’ll find that I may sometimes write in a format that follows a rambunctious stream of consciousness, involving song lyrics, video clips, and other references to what would otherwise be irrelevant associations. I’d like, at times, to be able to communicate to you in this way so you can see how my mind works. As for the above lyrics, they are obviously from Billy Joel’s “Movin’ Out.” Aside from the lyrical association to the rest of this post, the song always reminds me of being a toddler, bouncing around in the backseat of my mom’s white Honda Accord with soft blue interior, listening to 106.7 Lite FM New York. Actually, I’m pretty sure that radio station still plays the song regularly, and my mom still enjoys listening to it, but I digress.

Last night I was sitting in my kitchen and my mind began to list what I would be leaving behind. The items on the list ranged from the trivial (my pillow pet, my yellow room in this apartment, and probably two thirds of the clothing I own) to the substantial (friends, family, and a few key places I’ve grown attached to). It then occurred to me: I am leaving for Jerusalem in one month, and staying there for about ten! When people had asked me in the past if I was ready or scared, I would tell them that I “look forward to diversifying my educational dance experience by thrusting myself into a different social culture and dance culture.” Well, that’s more or less what I’d say. I made it seem as if I was fearless and adventurous.

This still remains true, but I must admit that there is a part of me that I have been ignoring, and feelings that have been suppressed. It’s the romantic part of me, in charge of memories, attached-ness, and nostalgia. This romance lives in the woman’s arm, waving her handkerchief out the window at her lover as the train takes her away. It makes friends hug tighter than normal before they separate for an extended amount of time. I’d been ignoring this romance because I was so incredibly distracted by the exciting things that lie ahead.

Also, I’ve been having such a wonderful summer, filled with MUCH dancing, seeing dance, and summer adventures with friends, that I’d forgotten that I was moving out of my apartment at the end of July. This week. So last night I got angry. I got sad. And then I finally got around to starting the moving out process here at my apartment in New Brunswick. It happened all of a sudden, too. I took down my shelves and decorations, put my clothes into a box. I’d say I could probably move it all in one trip. By next week, I’ll be out of New Brunswick.

I’m not as upset as I was last night. Perhaps just glad that I’d actually done some packing. I knew I wouldn’t stay upset that long. It’s just not my nature. All in all, I mustn’t dwell on the past, or fret at the goodbyes to come. I know better than that. And that’s something I can count on for my trip to Israel… No matter how frustrating or difficult any given situation may end up being, I will always find a way to diffuse the negative vibes.

And hey, who could be in a bad mood if you’ve got this song in your head?

Sorry, I had to. I even embedded the lyrics version, for all you karaoke enthusiasts. Good day.

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Things Change

June 30, 2011

It is beginning to dawn on me that I will be leaving for Israel in two months. Deadlines approach and arrangements need to be made. I will tomorrow go to the Consulate General of Israel in New York to apply for my student visa. (Here’s how.) I hope it’s easier than a trip to the DMV.

Another anomaly that accelerates the anticipation of my arrival in an abroad area: the recent fluctuation of my circles of friends. One close friend left yesterday for a month-long study abroad program in Italy. Another friend, I saw the other day for the first time in two months. Some people I used to see everyday during the Spring semester, I doubt I’ll see for another year. One friend I hadn’t thought of in weeks randomly appeared before me yesterday.

We’re all just souls floating around on this Earth. We all have our own paths to travel, and sometimes do so with the company of others. You may sometimes travel similar paths with a larger number of people for a while, like during your high school experience, or four-year stay at Mason Gross. Or, two paths may cross for just a day, or a moment. It seems that the most satisfying way to journey through life is to enjoy the company of those that you are around, and with whom you cross paths. Get to know them. Learn from them and their different experiences and opinions. Keep in touch, if you so choose.

I suppose that this outlook on social interaction is what prevents me from being afraid. I look forward to diversifying my experience by meeting new people and participating in new practices abroad. I do so without forgetting the relations I (perhaps temporarily) leave behind. I know that I’ll return to New Jersey and bring new ideas and stories to share.

At the end of the day, I understand that things change, and I look forward to it.